What did overweight Kraken say to his friend?


slimy-yet-satisfying:

remarkablerussian:

slimy-yet-satisfying:

remarkablerussian:

slimy-yet-satisfying:

remarkablerussian:

Nothing, for two reasons. 

One, because he has no friends.

Two, if he did have friends, he would have eaten them by now.

And *you* have friends? Name one. >:|

Alfons, Kass, Fae. 

…Isn’t the first your boyfriend? Zat doesn’t count.

He freezes some at the mention of a boyfriend and pales some, even more so than usual. “I… Do not have vun of those.”

*Griiiiin.* Stan and Alfons up a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

Glares. “I’d make same joke, but… Vell… If only somevun loved you.”

albanianheavy:

remarkablerussian:

Nashita, I already talked to you about your friends, I do not want to participate in weird bear threesome.

"…Excuse me?! Who the fuck do ya even think ya are, bud?!" *cracks fists*

He looks up, unimpressed. “Spy who vill not touch your bear dick.”

What did overweight Kraken say to his friend?


slimy-yet-satisfying:

remarkablerussian:

slimy-yet-satisfying:

remarkablerussian:

Nothing, for two reasons. 

One, because he has no friends.

Two, if he did have friends, he would have eaten them by now.

And *you* have friends? Name one. >:|

Alfons, Kass, Fae. 

…Isn’t the first your boyfriend? Zat doesn’t count.

He freezes some at the mention of a boyfriend and pales some, even more so than usual. “I… Do not have vun of those.”

penelope-the-fempyro:

"Do you think that spies ever use their cloaking ability to their advantage and watch people have sex?" She asked, chuckling. "I mean, think about that."

image

"I do not vant to know about your sex life."

"But da, three times."

Nashita, I already talked to you about your friends, I do not want to participate in weird bear threesome.

What did overweight Kraken say to his friend?


slimy-yet-satisfying:

remarkablerussian:

Nothing, for two reasons. 

One, because he has no friends.

Two, if he did have friends, he would have eaten them by now.

And *you* have friends? Name one. >:|

Alfons, Kass, Fae. 

What did overweight Kraken say to his friend?


Nothing, for two reasons. 

One, because he has no friends.

Two, if he did have friends, he would have eaten them by now.

freckledcaribousoldier:

remarkablerussian:

freckledcaribousoldier:

remarkablerussian:

"Nashita, I make joke about fucking animals like you are doing, did not ask you to send me your veird friends. Do not vant to fuck reindeer."

"Fuck you, I ain’t even close to a caribou. It’s only a nickname I got from roller derby"

"Is that vhy picture is of reindeer? Vhat fuck is roller derby? Ees vhen stupid Americans get together and roll down hill and fly off cliff? Eef so, please tell me more about!"

"I was born in Canada first off, second roller derby is wear you got a team and skate laps and your allowed to punch and shove to get the number of laps. And third you need to stop assuming about everyone"

"I’ll be honest vith you, Reindeer, after you said you came for Canada I could not help but feel as though everything you said became unimportant and boring. Ees much like country! Vonderful!"

remarkablerussian
You're lonely.


redtroopno3825:

remarkablerussian:

redtroopno3825:

remarkablerussian:

redtroopno3825:

remarkablerussian:

redtroopno3825:

I’m vas? I’m sure you must be talking to somvun else Herr

Nyet, stranger told me to tell ten people my favorite part about them!

You’re being lonely, is very good, it is what gets me laid.

So nice to know zhat my veaker emotions mean so much to you

Ah! They do, so much! I sometimes like to brag to Bosko about it vhen he drinks, it makes him leave me alone! You help in so many ways!

So I hear, you nearly jeopardized my friendship vith Bosko over zhe matter. It /must/ be loneliness zhat drives me into your arms since it certainly isn’t your charm… or discretion.

But Kass, I’m so endearing! Lovable, rude little scamp that no one can help but come back to again and again! Like you for instance, you cannot get enough of me. 

You are a number of zhings Herr, qvuite frankly I’m surprised you haven’t tired of me is your usual ‘endearments’ no longer vorking on ozhers?

Usual endearments? What are you talking about? You mean trying to get others into bed?

To be honest with you, Kass, any one night stand I have had feels like fucking an empty shell of person, just blank face. It is all just a forced struggle to obtain the feeling of passion I once felt so many months before I have left this place. I have felt as empty and shallow since I have lost Lukas, I sometimes find myself staring at door waiting for him to come through with endearing pet name and mumbled ‘I love you’ with coffee cup in hand. I cannot even remember what it use to feel like holding his hand or kissing his lips, I can only recall the pain of not being able to say good bye. 

*sighs and sits at her cafe alone*


faesdiner:

remarkablerussian:

faesdiner:

remarkablerussian:

faesdiner:

"…" Sigh

Walks in and sits on the counter top.

"…I would offer to get you something…but you some how live on air so…"

"Da, but I can order exquisite dish and make joke about how it tastes bland and flavorless. Is funny because that is vhat it vill taste like to me."

"just like I wouldn’t waste your time on a fake spy mission…don’t waste my time cooking. It is my profession you know…" She glared slightly at the rude spy. "Why are you hear anyway? Did you sense my foul mood all the way from the base and then came skittering all the way here to add to my misery?"

"Vell misery does love company." He points out, happily crossing his legs as he looked around the cafe. "And by looks of empty cafe, ees good thing I came here so soon! Vhat fuck you do around here anyvays?"

*sighs and sits at her cafe alone*


faesdiner:

remarkablerussian:

faesdiner:

"…" Sigh

Walks in and sits on the counter top.

"…I would offer to get you something…but you some how live on air so…"

"Da, but I can order exquisite dish and make joke about how it tastes bland and flavorless. Is funny because that is vhat it vill taste like to me."


remarkablerussian
You're lonely.


redtroopno3825:

remarkablerussian:

redtroopno3825:

remarkablerussian:

redtroopno3825:

I’m vas? I’m sure you must be talking to somvun else Herr

Nyet, stranger told me to tell ten people my favorite part about them!

You’re being lonely, is very good, it is what gets me laid.

So nice to know zhat my veaker emotions mean so much to you

Ah! They do, so much! I sometimes like to brag to Bosko about it vhen he drinks, it makes him leave me alone! You help in so many ways!

So I hear, you nearly jeopardized my friendship vith Bosko over zhe matter. It /must/ be loneliness zhat drives me into your arms since it certainly isn’t your charm… or discretion.

But Kass, I’m so endearing! Lovable, rude little scamp that no one can help but come back to again and again! Like you for instance, you cannot get enough of me. 

*sighs and sits at her cafe alone*


faesdiner:

"…" Sigh

Walks in and sits on the counter top.

freckledcaribousoldier:

remarkablerussian:

"Nashita, I make joke about fucking animals like you are doing, did not ask you to send me your veird friends. Do not vant to fuck reindeer."

"Fuck you, I ain’t even close to a caribou. It’s only a nickname I got from roller derby"

"Is that vhy picture is of reindeer? Vhat fuck is roller derby? Ees vhen stupid Americans get together and roll down hill and fly off cliff? Eef so, please tell me more about!"

remarkablerussian
You're lonely.


redtroopno3825:

remarkablerussian:

redtroopno3825:

I’m vas? I’m sure you must be talking to somvun else Herr

Nyet, stranger told me to tell ten people my favorite part about them!

You’re being lonely, is very good, it is what gets me laid.

So nice to know zhat my veaker emotions mean so much to you

Ah! They do, so much! I sometimes like to brag to Bosko about it vhen he drinks, it makes him leave me alone! You help in so many ways!