Watches the robots rolling and trotting about from on top of the base.


jathis:

remarkablerussian:

jathis:

remarkablerussian:

jathis:

remarkablerussian:

"…I think I’m going to fuck robot."

Alfonsbot chirped at that, looking at the Spy in confusion. “What does that mean?”

Stanislav jerked up then and quickly turned his head at the little robot. “…Nothing. I… Coughed. Eet just sounded like vord to you.” He murmured before glaring down at the robots with dark eyes. “… They vould cut off dick anyvays.”

"Cut off dicks? Why are they killing people named Richard?" Alfonsbot asked, rolling up to "stand" beside the Spy.

Stanislav simply stared at the ground.

"For moment I almost forgot you are Alfons robot. You poor thing." He sighs softly, plucking his cigarette from his lips and flicking it down below. "Oh Alfons… I have not felt intimacy in so long, even metallic covers of man made machinery looks good to me. I am I feel myself vaisting avay from lack of sexual stimulation."

"Sexual stimulation…Oh! I had that once! A Medic grabbed me and brought me to his room and he forced me to stand still while he squirted white oil onto my face!" he said, hopping a little on his wheel at the memory.

"Do you wish to do this?" he asked.

Stanislav nearly broke his own neck with how quickly he turned to look at the robot. What- What did he just say…!?

"Excuse me?" He forced out after a moment, eyes fixed on the little robot in absolute shock. "Who?"

Watches the robots rolling and trotting about from on top of the base.


jathis:

remarkablerussian:

jathis:

remarkablerussian:

"…I think I’m going to fuck robot."

Alfonsbot chirped at that, looking at the Spy in confusion. “What does that mean?”

Stanislav jerked up then and quickly turned his head at the little robot. “…Nothing. I… Coughed. Eet just sounded like vord to you.” He murmured before glaring down at the robots with dark eyes. “… They vould cut off dick anyvays.”

"Cut off dicks? Why are they killing people named Richard?" Alfonsbot asked, rolling up to "stand" beside the Spy.

Stanislav simply stared at the ground.

"For moment I almost forgot you are Alfons robot. You poor thing." He sighs softly, plucking his cigarette from his lips and flicking it down below. "Oh Alfons… I have not felt intimacy in so long, even metallic covers of man made machinery looks good to me. I am I feel myself vaisting avay from lack of sexual stimulation."

Watches the robots rolling and trotting about from on top of the base.


ignisthepyro:

remarkablerussian:

"…I think I’m going to fuck robot."

"Stop"

"Maybe in your room, Ignis."

Watches the robots rolling and trotting about from on top of the base.


jathis:

remarkablerussian:

"…I think I’m going to fuck robot."

Alfonsbot chirped at that, looking at the Spy in confusion. “What does that mean?”

Stanislav jerked up then and quickly turned his head at the little robot. “…Nothing. I… Coughed. Eet just sounded like vord to you.” He murmured before glaring down at the robots with dark eyes. “… They vould cut off dick anyvays.”

Watches the robots rolling and trotting about from on top of the base.


"…I think I’m going to fuck robot."

Dear Idiot who yells ‘There is spy!’ right next to my ear.


Fuck you.

"Happy Earth day to us all."


misscaribousoldier:

remarkablerussian:

Dumps out ashtray on ground.

"Asshole"

"Da, I am. Here ees gift from asshole." Taps the remains of the tray on her head.

"Happy Earth day to us all."


Dumps out ashtray on ground.


dancing-death
You have a package in the mail! Inside is a bottle of pills and a note. 'My friend- I have done some research into possible corrections to your problem. While I have yet to locate an adequate cure to your anosmia, this medicine, a dysgeusia, should gradually improve your sense of taste. I hope it does you well. -K.'


Stanislav looked at the handwriting, and then to the single letter left to offer a clue for who sent it. The Russian looked to the bottle then and frowned before tucking it away and a drawer. Nothing loved to be more suspicious than a near anonymous letter and a bottle of pills.


theotherubersheep
(( At least three people have admitted they crack ship E. and Stanislav... So, yeah. :T ))


theotherubersheep:

remarkablerussian:

Nyet, E, I do not want to have sex with you.

Thank god! The feeling is mutual." The sniper replied with a disgusted countenance at the thought.

It seemed people lacked sagacity in the character judgement department. Or sanity, for that matter.

"So stop telling people about your vildest hopes and dreams to be vith me, ees unsettling. I believe you could categorize thees as sexual harassment. I have seen way you look at my behind vhile I am trying to do vork! I am piece of meat you ogle! Now you spread rumors that ve are together! You are sick!"


Anonymous
What about that soldier, that you keep calling her a reindeer? You like her?


Nyet, I don’t fuck reindeer.


theotherubersheep
(( At least three people have admitted they crack ship E. and Stanislav... So, yeah. :T ))


Nyet, E, I do not want to have sex with you.


Anonymous
Oooh thought Ellie was the only one? Hmmm... Aha! Stanislav, you will be dressed as EARRING MAGIC KEN for 24 hours. Mun has Google. BTW, this Ken was the most popular Ken ever sold. Until Mattel found out what demographic was buying these Kens.


…Nyet.


remarkablerussian
Draws a penis on her door.


administration-co:

remarkablerussian:

administration-co:

Nothing says good morning like a genitals on a door. 

"How mature- an unoriginal." Mama sighed. Looks like she was going to have to get a janitor up here to scrub the door.

"Vhat? I am releasing emotions into beautiful art! Is not my fault you are against emotional expression."

"That’s right I am terrible- shame on me for discriminating against art." She mused with an idle tone. "Have fun drawing on walls Sir. I’m sure the kinder gardener in you is squealing with delight."

"If you can’t I can draw vagina instead. I am not sexist spy!" He laughs darkly before getting to work on said picture.

caribousoldier:

remarkablerussian:

 

"Nyet, I don’t like to eat, ees very… Boring, cannot taste anything." He replied a shake of his head. "If you do not mind smoking, I vill join you vhile you eat cake."

She took a back of cigarettes from her pocket and a lighter from her clevage “I’m doing both” she smiled ditching the marker. “I never got your name ” she asked as they went down the way to the kitchen.

"Eet ees Stanislav Vikentieva, Russian spy, but you can tell by now, da?" He replied, walking alongside her as he pulled out his own cigarette case.