A Remarkable Russian

Jul 20

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remarkablerussian:

"Have heart attack? Vhat makes you think I vill not leave you for dead in your bed and allow you to go through painful respawn experience vhile I put in earplugs and go back to bed?" He pointed out with a chuckle, walking alongside the other. "After all, you have not been…

"It never hurts… Especially considering that it vill hurt if you continue to hurt me in such terrible vay!" He pointed out with a grin. "After all, don’t you know how vonderful Russians are?"

Jul 18

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snipingmedicine:

remarkablerussian:

"Vell then, is good thing you have your most favorite room mate around to help you, da?" He snickered, following after the man. "After all, old man, ve vouldn’t vant you to fall and break another hip! Vould be terrible!"

"Trust me, it ist nicht mein hips you should be…

"Have heart attack? Vhat makes you think I vill not leave you for dead in your bed and allow you to go through painful respawn experience vhile I put in earplugs and go back to bed?" He pointed out with a chuckle, walking alongside the other. "After all, you have not been very good room mate, very racist and insensitive to my poor feelings!"

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remarkablerussian:

Stanislav looked through his fingers, giving one last fake sniffle before a soft chuckle of amusement followed. He let out another puff of smoke, this time in the medic’s direction, as he looked back to the German. “Doktor, really, I just cannot understand your anger! I am…

"Vell then, is good thing you have your most favorite room mate around to help you, da?" He snickered, following after the man. "After all, old man, ve vouldn’t vant you to fall and break another hip! Vould be terrible!"

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remarkablerussian:

snipingmedicine:

"Ach, fick dich, du fettig, versnobt Fotze!" Luitger hissed in anger, clenching his teeth. There was no point in arguing. He knew it was true or the man in front of him wouldn’t be having so much fun with this. He let out a long, calming breath through…

Stanislav looked through his fingers, giving one last fake sniffle before a soft chuckle of amusement followed. He let out another puff of smoke, this time in the medic’s direction, as he looked back to the German. “Doktor, really, I just cannot understand your anger! I am such fine gentleman, da? Very funny, very charming, do not understand vhy you are so crabby. Perhaps you need good fucking, I know I sometimes am grumpy vhen I do not get ass.”

Jul 17

snipingmedicine:

remarkablerussian:

"Oh alright, do not be so pushy! Allow me to introduce you to such handsome, devious rogue you have as your roommate."

The Russian, with that smug grin of his on his pale, skinny face, extended a gloved hand out to the other. “I am Stanislav Vikentieva, your brand new roommate.”

"Ach, fick dich, du fettig, versnobt Fotze!" Luitger hissed in anger, clenching his teeth. There was no point in arguing. He knew it was true or the man in front of him wouldn’t be having so much fun with this. He let out a long, calming breath through his nose, but still regarded the spy’s hand with distaste.

"… Dr. Luitger Fleischer. I honestly can’t say it’s ein pleasure, und I’m considering sleeping on zhe couch in zhe rec room from now on." He could probably get away with it too, for a while at least. Or maybe he could gut the spy in his sleep and lock him out while he respawned. That could work too.

"Vhat? Oh doktor, you are so mean to me, even after knowving ve are best friend! And here I thought… I thought ve vould be best friends!"

At that, Stanislav let out a loud, faux sob, burying his hands as he cried crocodile tears. “V-Vhat about all slumber parties ve vould have!?”

voodoosnipes said: ╰☆╮

Gives her the most confused look he could muster.

Send me a ╰☆╮ if your muse thinks my muse is attractive

image

Bonus points for exactly what.

(via snipingmedicine)

I like to think that Stanislav’s spirit animal is a asshole sphynx cat that knocks shit over. ))

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remarkablerussian:

"Oh doktor, you are man after my own heart." The Russian chuckled, but at the mention of Luitger’s room number, Stanislav could not hold back his smile. Ah, what a small, wonderful world they lived in.

"Room 328 you say…?" He asked, cocking a brow. "Da… I agree, your room…

"Oh alright, do not be so pushy! Allow me to introduce you to such handsome, devious rogue you have as your roommate."

The Russian, with that smug grin of his on his pale, skinny face, extended a gloved hand out to the other. “I am Stanislav Vikentieva, your brand new roommate.”

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remarkablerussian:

"So rude… I certainly hope you do not treat your new room mate in such vay as this, it is truly so hurtful!" He wiped away a crocodile tear before lighting his cigarette, taking a long drag.

"Bah, do not talk to me about poisoning! Have you gotten good look at me? I look…

"Oh doktor, you are man after my own heart." The Russian chuckled, but at the mention of Luitger’s room number, Stanislav could not hold back his smile. Ah, what a small, wonderful world they lived in.

"Room 328 you say…?" He asked, cocking a brow. "Da… I agree, your room mate has vonderful personality! I dare even say many, lovely characteristics are most certainly synonymous to ‘remarkable’… Tell me, have you met then yet, my beloved doktor?"

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remarkablerussian:

"Ja, ich verstehe sehr gut. I give my apologies, doktor, again I vould hate to offend. I consider myself such nice, pleasant fellow who just so happens to vork for both RED and BLU. May I just add you speak such beautiful Russian, even if you do have few errors… You should…

"So rude… I certainly hope you do not treat your new room mate in such vay as this, it is truly so hurtful!" He wiped away a crocodile tear before lighting his cigarette, taking a long drag.

"Bah, do not talk to me about poisoning! Have you gotten good look at me? I look like I vill keel over any second, my health does not matter much anymore anyvays. If these do not keel me off, then radiation from food and drinking vater vill."

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remarkablerussian:

He chuckled at getting a look at the other’s face at the mention of the classical art of ‘jarate’ and simply rolled his eyes. “So you say, Sniper, but do not vorry sniper is no reason to be ashamed. Embrace your piss-scented, Koala ridden class!”

He smiled. “And there is so…

"Ja, ich verstehe sehr gut. I give my apologies, doktor, again I vould hate to offend. I consider myself such nice, pleasant fellow who just so happens to vork for both RED and BLU. May I just add you speak such beautiful Russian, even if you do have few errors… You should trying saying to me ‘Bbl красивый изгоев’ As practice!" He snickered, pleasantly pulling out his cigarette case and popping a cancer stick between his thin lips.

"Though I should say try saying it less bitterly… We have all been apart of war at some point, doktor, I didn’t exactly learn German so I could hit on voluptuous medics… Although that is vun of my favorite hobbies."

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remarkablerussian:

"Oh? Then you must be terrible shot if you are still so grumpy. You are sniper, da? I thought your kind took fun in pissing in bottles and saying ‘G’Day mate!’… Though I suppose in your Kass, perhaps it vould be ‘G’day, weinerschnitzel!" He chuckled, only to let out a hoarse…

He chuckled at getting a look at the other’s face at the mention of the classical art of ‘jarate’ and simply rolled his eyes. “So you say, Sniper, but do not vorry sniper is no reason to be ashamed. Embrace your piss-scented, Koala ridden class!”

He smiled. “And there is so much I could say, sniper, so many terrible things! But I like to save my best insults for vhen I get to know you better, not to mention I vould so hate to offend you… Denn Deutsch ist meine Lieblingssprache, neben Russisch natürlich.”

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remarkablerussian:

Stanislav simply scoffed. “Oh please, you cannot even hit tree right in front of you! I vould make joke about you not being able to hit broad sign of barn, but that might actually be fact.”

The Russian pushed the rifle away with his finger. “Do not Aime at me either, I do…

"Oh? Then you must be terrible shot if you are still so grumpy. You are sniper, da? I thought your kind took fun in pissing in bottles and saying ‘G’Day mate!’… Though I suppose in your Kass, perhaps it vould be ‘G’day, weinerschnitzel!" He chuckled, only to let out a hoarse cough soon after.

manipulativeorganism said: "Vermin, you say? Speak of the devil."

manipulativeorganism:

remarkablerussian:

manipulativeorganism:

remarkablerussian:

What.

"Speak of the devil and he shall come. You spoke of any sort of vermin, here’s the devil in the analogy."

"Vhat are you? Cockroach?"

"No. Definitely not; they have only 6 legs. My species has 20 when fully developed."

"Please stop."