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"Oh alright, do not be so pushy! Allow me to introduce you to such handsome, devious rogue you have as your roommate."

The Russian, with that smug grin of his on his pale, skinny face, extended a gloved hand out to the other. “I am Stanislav Vikentieva, your brand new roommate.”

"Ach, fick dich, du fettig, versnobt Fotze!" Luitger hissed in anger, clenching his teeth. There was no point in arguing. He knew it was true or the man in front of him wouldn’t be having so much fun with this. He let out a long, calming breath through his nose, but still regarded the spy’s hand with distaste.

"… Dr. Luitger Fleischer. I honestly can’t say it’s ein pleasure, und I’m considering sleeping on zhe couch in zhe rec room from now on." He could probably get away with it too, for a while at least. Or maybe he could gut the spy in his sleep and lock him out while he respawned. That could work too.

"Vhat? Oh doktor, you are so mean to me, even after knowving ve are best friend! And here I thought… I thought ve vould be best friends!"

At that, Stanislav let out a loud, faux sob, burying his hands as he cried crocodile tears. “V-Vhat about all slumber parties ve vould have!?”


Gives her the most confused look he could muster.

Send me a ╰☆╮ if your muse thinks my muse is attractive


Bonus points for exactly what.

I like to think that Stanislav’s spirit animal is a asshole sphynx cat that knocks shit over. )) ↗ ↗ ↗ ↗ ↗ ↗

"Vermin, you say? Speak of the devil."






"Speak of the devil and he shall come. You spoke of any sort of vermin, here’s the devil in the analogy."

"Vhat are you? Cockroach?"

"No. Definitely not; they have only 6 legs. My species has 20 when fully developed."

"Please stop."